The Magical Princess

Overview: Backstory of Agent J, and how he met his BFF Mandy, who worked with Miley, who was best friends with Princess Selena.  Discusses Jeremy’s early love of Selena, and how he became a Professor of Engineering at the University of Waverly.

Once upon a time there lived a pauper by the name of Jeremy, and a magical princess by the name of Selena.  (Well, at least so they wanted to play along as if it were the case  to make a great story .)  Now note that when I say “magical”, I’m not referring to the poetic personification of magnificence, or some other televised subrogation of enchantment of whose dominant purpose is the bottom line rather than reenactment of reality by way of storytelling.  My friends and fellow Waverlyans, what I’m describing to you is what was thought to be a long lost art, of which only one line, the true Royal bloodline carries: her Royal Highness, Selena Marie Gomez.  Though the power within herself, neither her, nor her people, were ever aware of it.

Every day, Princess Selena would be ushered along the streets of Waverly Place, and Jeremy was startled at her beauty, glory, and passion.  Sure there were paparazzi trying to catch a glimpse of her beauty, and crowds of fans who wanted to be Selena, Jeremy never missed a day when she passed by, wondering whether, just whether, Selena Gomez would ever become Selena Shum (though he never spoke of this aloud, because it was prohibited).

Her Royal Highness, though only fourteen years of age, was a great ruler.  Though she was incredibly young, she quickly rose in stature and in recognition among the people for her fair judgments in the House of Lords, where she sat is Chief Justice: And her name on thousands of manuscripts: “Gomez CJ” (this is the short hand for referring to a Chief Justice of the House of Lords).  God had provided Selena with indescribable wisdom, and she ruled with honor, and most importantly of all: integrity.  Upon death of her father, King Triton, because Selena had no brother, and was the oldest of six sisters, she took the throne.

The life of Jeremy the Pauper was somewhat different.  To say that Jeremy and Selena were from different universes would be a metaphor that only starts to cover the difference between the lifestyles of Selena and Jeremy.  Every day, seventeen year old Jeremy had to wake up and tirelessly slave away at his job at the (to be) Cinderella Chapel, where he worked as a builder.  Each morning, Jeremy had to wake up at 5am in the morning, and build what was to become Cinderella Chapel, which would continue until 12am at night.  Sometimes, Jeremy didn’t even get the time to sleep, though each day around 1pm as Selena was out there to greet the people, Jeremy’s mind always wondered off, with the idea that he and Selena could somehow be together.  But he knew that was impossible.  Not only was the consideration so ridiculous that it could never eventuate, but if anybody knew about it, he would be locked away and thrown in to Dragon Dungeon (and not even one person who entered Dragon Dungeon has been seen coming out), and it was for the simple reason that he was a Pauper, and she was a Princess.

“Waaaaaaaahh waaaaaahhh I want my mommy,” Todd ridiculed as he walked past, as Jeremy was slaving away at Cinderella Chapel.  ”So you still think Princess Selena is going to even consider slime like you?  I might just find to it, that Selena finds out how much of a loser you are – you better look out for what’s coming your way!”

“Yeah what a loser,” Troy, one of Todd’s close friends repeated, as he knocked down one of the bricks that Jeremy had laid.

As soon as they left, Jeremy burst in to tears not knowing what to think.  He knew he only worked this hard because of his dream.  His whole heart’s desire was to meet Selena, and he knew that if he could ever just touch her, his whole life could change.  If only he could work as her servant, working on her castle, the Waverly Castle, people would realize that he wasn’t just an ordinary boy, but that there was someone inside of him that was extraordinary who could escape.

“I’m gonna find her whom my soul loveth, and when I do, I’m gonna hold her, and not let her go,” Jeremy said to himself.

Ten years later…

To say time goes by fast is the least that could be said about the precious commodity.  After finishing high school at fifteen, Jeremy entered the trade of commerce, dealing in the financial markets, later taking on to study the law in all the priestly eleven: criminal, tort, contract, property, equity, administrative, constitutiona, civil, evidence, company, and ethics.  By the age of nineteen, he became an apprentice and studied the physical and chemical sciences.  On completion of the physical sciences, he went to study the biological sciences, all of which he completed by the age of twenty five.

But Jeremy was now aged twenty seven, and, well, Jeremy still lived with Mandy, his house mate (and also best friend).  Jeremy was three years Mandy’s junior (who was thirty), but they had met each other at a service at Cinderella Chapel, where they were first acquainted.  But no, don’t get the wrong idea!  Though it is true that Jeremy thought that Mandy was hot (and Mandy, well, also had a tiny crush on Jeremy), Jeremy spoke of Princess Selena all day.

Mandy was in fact closer to Princess Selena than Jeremy was though.  She worked as a maid at Waverly Castle, and she was best friends with Miley, who was a close friend of Her Majesty Princess Selena.  So by mutual friendship, Jeremy thought, he was only a couple of connections away from Selena (though note that this did not mean that it was at all “proper” for Jeremy to approach Princess Selena under any circumstance, and attempts could see him imprisoned for life!).

Amanda was a funny girl, she had dark brunette hair, skin that was relatively tanned, and she looked pretty in, well, basically anything.  She and Jeremy had been attending Cinderella Chapel since it was completed ten years ago, and they had shared all sorts of secrets, failures, and successes.

The relationship wasn’t always this great however.  Jeremy had once told Mandy, “You know we’re friends and stuff, but I think when I get married we’re gonna have to break up”.

“Well then you can just stuff our friendship then,” Mandy replied.

“No, what I mean is, when I get married I’m going to commit myself to my wife, and so it’ll be awkward if I’m still friends with a girl.  I think you’re just going to need to become very good friends with my wife.  Agreed?”

“Well yeah, but you can’t just dump me okay?” Mandy replied.

“I’ll see what my future wife says ok?” Jeremy replied.

Mandy was one of the nicest people Jeremy had ever met.  Their interests matched well, she loved fashion (Jeremy called her “fashionista”), and was in to healthy dieting and exercising, all of which Jeremy was in to.  Thank goodness Jeremy didn’t live with another boy, because they would’ve had a nightmare with his intricate preferences.

But the question did pop up between Mandy and Jeremy once.

“Do you have the hots for me Mandy?”

Jeremy asked this because in class one time, Jeremy had asked Mandy what she thought of him, and she wrote down the words “hot”, thought about it for about five seconds, scribbled it out, and rewrote “good looks” and “good personality”.

“Umm, well do you have the hots for me Jeremy?” Mandy replied.

“I don’t know, do you have the hots for me?” Jeremy replied.

“I thought you liked Princess Selena?” Mandy queried.

“Well I do, but say for instance if by the age of thirty I don’t get married, do you wanna hook up?”

Mandy didn’t say much.  Even though Jeremy himself started to doubt whether he and Princess Selena would ever be an item, Mandy worked at the Castle, and she knew Jeremy had as much opportunity at Selena as every other boy in the kingdom had, despite that he was a pauper.

“Hey, let’s go out to McBronald’s,” Mandy said.

“I don’t want to get fat though…  Because then Selena will think I’m an ugly duckling, am fat, and have a bad voice!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Jeremy, you’re not fat,” Mandy reassured him rolling her eyes.

“Shut up!!!” Jeremy remarked, “you can say that because you’re a size six and you’re so amaaaaaaaaazingly pretty – but not as pretty as Selena, of course”.

“Seriously Jeremy, you’re not fat, or ugly.”

“Shut up Mandy, you’re just saying that because you’re my friend, it’s so obvious.”

“Okay, what about we just go to Subway then?” Mandy suggested.

To say that Jeremy was a drama queen (or should  I say king) was an understatement.  The definition of a generation y teenager, Jeremy was just that: obsessed with reaaaaaaaally tight skinny leg jeans (so much so that another one of his friends, Zac, once said “Are you gay? Because dude, you have really tight jeans!!!)